Girls Gone Humourless?

So I was talking to this fellow on the internet today, which I must say is the best and only form of communication in my mind. Anyway, he said something truly brilliant to me, something so profound that I could only hope to paraphrase it here for you know. You must forgive me, for his Socratic insight, his Oscar Wilde-like wit, and his Shakespearian characterization was mostly lost on me. He said, “Only guys are funny, chicks are so not funny. We only say they are to get laid.” I was left reeling at his statement, probably just like you right now as you read this. In fact, you’re probably rubbing your eyes and making a ‘squeaky squeaky’ noise too. Its ok, I know. It’s like he said what all of our penises were thinking. I could not agree more with him. I mean, if I had a nickel for every un-funny woman I saw, well, I’d be rich getting more money doing the same thing as compared to my female counterpart. And that’s another thing, I’m sure that these female comedians who are lucky enough to be seen and heard have it written into their contacts somewhere that they are required to blow whomever suggested they were funny. That’s how it works, right? It’s not because they were genuinely funny people and deserved to be recognized. Or that we live in a male-centric society, and other women aren’t even given a chance simply based on their gender. No way, that’s silly. And, oh my gosh, the last part. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve told a lady she’s funny when she’s obviously not, simply so I could fuck her. The reason I can’t tell you is because it’s NEVER happened, and that is because women ARE actually FUNNY. They are smarter, funnier and work harder than many male comedians. The reason this guy, and many others just like him, don’t realize it is simply because they are ignorant. By the way, just in case you were wondering, this is what he looks like:

Yea, his name’s Crazy Mike, because he’s Mike and he’s crazy. And if you need proof of his mental state, then let me tell you that he wanted to join the army after watching Team America: World Police. That was a lot to take in, but thank you for reading. And if you’re a woman, please ask a man to tell you what the funny parts were (if there were any).